Onward with the Weightloss Battle

So the battle continues. Sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down. There are times you get hit and it takes a bit to recover. But the last thing you should do is quit and give up. And the most important thing you can do each time you fall, is review what happened so that you can try to prevent it again. If you don’t, you will most likely make the same mistake over and over again.
So I’m starting to really analyze myself and my behavior. Last week was just kind of fluky, and there is nothing you can do about monthly women’s troubles. But I can prevent other mishaps that have caused me to fall hard. One is that ever ominous and present desire to cheat. Is it a feeling of rebellion? Does it excite me knowing I’m doing something I shouldn’t? I don’t really think that is it. Could part of it be fear? Afraid of who I would be as a healthy person? A fear of losing the old excuse for everything and what you let define you as a person? Could very well be.
So I’m having to realize that this weight, the way I look does NOT define who I am as a person. I will still be myself no matter what happens. I have nothing to fear, and just so much to look forward to. I can’t be afraid of it. So that is the EMOTIONAL side of it. So quit sabotaging myself and focus on the wonderful things to look forward to.
So as far as the BEHAVIORAL side of things, there is also some preventative action to take. There is one thing I really must change. Its this learned behavior that I have taught myself, which is kind of a form of protection. Its like an avoidance of reality and pain. Whenever I’m sad, depressed, made etc, I eat. Basically, anytime things go amiss, the thought automatically appears in my brain that something fattening will magically make it all better. It just simply isn’t true. It’s a lie I’ve told myself for years. And you know, it feels partially true for like 3 seconds as you taste that glorious food, but then the reward is gone. And in its place is complete misery and you feel worse than you did before.
I’m sick of covering up the blemish and only making it worse. Its time to actually heal the problem at its source. Time to change that “automatic” reflex. If I have a bad day, something on my mind, well just deal with it. Talk it out with Adam or someone. Write about it, deal with it. Go for a walk. Do something healthy instead of making it all worse.