Day 7 & 8, not so great!

DAY 7
Monday, October 27, 2008
FOOD:
B: 2 eggs w/ salsa & cheese, protein shake
Snack: apple, string cheese
L: chicken, peppers & cucumber
Snack: apple
D: roasted chicken, beans, broccoli, small piece of corn bread

EXERCISE:
None Today
EMOTIONS:
I’m stoked! I just need to keep up the good work

DAY 8
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
FOOD:
B: 2 eggs, 2 sausage, hash brown (bad bad)
Snack: apple, string cheese
L: didn’t eat (bad, bad)
Snack: apple
D: peppers, chicken (fajitas, non-fat sour cream)

EXERCISE:
None Today

EMOTIONS:
Well I was running late this morning-things have been crazy at work, huge deadlines. Anyway forgot my pills last night when we went to Adam’s parents. So maybe that explains why it was so easy to go to McDonalds this morning. Yikes! I need to make sure I don’t forget to take my pills. They are so important!

I NEED TO KICK IT IN GEAR! This is classic Holly! I do really good and then I back down etc. Gotta keep it in forward gear full throttle! I WILL make this happen.

WEIGHT IN DAY!!!!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

ORIGINAL WEIGHT (10/17/08): 368
LAST WEEK: 362
TODAY: 349
WEEK’S LOSS: 13 POUNDS!
TOTAL (in 10 days) = 19 POUNDS!

Yeah, I’m pretty much speechless. In ever imagined I could lose so quickly. Now I won’t be losing that quickly in the future. It simply wouldn’t be healthy. When I see the dr again he will make sure everything is okay etc. If you lose too quickly they are afraid that you will easily gain it back. But I am being healthy. I’m eating right and regularly and drinking plenty of water!
But wow, aside from that being possibly too quick, I’m just so thrilled. I’m more happy than I can could ever express. I mentioned in an earlier post that I haven’t been 350 for 3 years. At my heaviest I was 414 pounds-YIKES. I had gotten down to 350 with a trainer, but I simply couldn’t keep my weight there. I have struggled for 3 years. I had a different trainer, I did Weight Watchers and all kinds of diets and had success, but nothing consistent. I would lose maybe 20 but then later gain it back. I went from 380-360 seriously about 10 times over the last 3 years, causing me just so much frustration. The 350 mark just felt like some kind of a mental block. I simply couldn’t get past it! I knew with this diet that I would get to my 350 mark, but I expected it to be after 3-4 weeks, so I am ELATED!

DAY 6
Sunday, October 26, 2008

FOOD:
B: 2 eggs, 2 egg whites, oatmeal
L: chicken, peppers & cucumber
Snack: apple
D: chicken & broccoli, carrots, & cauliflower

EXERCISE:
I wanted to do more today-45 minutes is really best for cardio because you burn fat for 2 more hours after you are done than if you only do 30 but I kind of had a scary thing happen. I don’t think it’s the pills, but I will be careful and monitor it just to make sure. What happened, is I was determined to do 10 on the Stair Master as I had done only 5 yesterday. It was a little too much. I think I got overheated or something. I felt really faint and had to sit down and splash cold water on myself for 15 minutes. Kinda freaky. I think I’m gonna do the Stair Master when I’ve lost 50 more pounds.
25 min: weight training-shoulders
10 min: Stair Master
15 min: Elliptical

EMOTIONS:
Well tonight I was kind of woozy I think from the Stair master still so I need to be super careful.
I’m so excited to weigh in tomorrow and get another Vitamin B shot. Kind of funny, I’ve never looked forward to a Monday and never looked forward to a shot before!
I’m also very excited to see that the medicine is still curbing my cravings! Today I wondered if it wouldn’t be quite so effortless. Typically in the past when I’d ignored my cravings and followed a strict diet and then cheated, it was nearly impossible to stop cheating. Once I’d tasted what I had missed, I just craved it more and more. So I’m THRILLED that it is still working.

Again, I’m on phentremine, a water pill, and some pre-diabetic medicine. I’m being monitored by a dr etc at the MD Diet which is nice. I go in once a week for a vitamin shot and they weigh me which is great, but anyone could get their dr to prescribe the appetite suppressant (phentremine) and its only 10-14 bucks a month. I SO recommend it if you have cravings that are out of control. IT WORKS!!!

STAY TUNED TOMORROW FOR THE BIG WEIGH IN!!!!

Day 5!!!

DAY 5
Saturday, October 25, 2008



I can’t believe how wonderful this diet is! These pills are magical. I think I seriously have found what works for me!



11:00 AM: mmmm I love sleeping in until whenever on Saturdays! Truthfully I normally don’t sleep in quite so much, but Adam and I are night people. We were up until almost 3! Craziness. I so love the weekend! Last night I did all the weekend shopping and did laundry and cleaning so we can be pretty lazy!!! We are playing WOW (I know, I’m such a nerd)



EXERCISE:
Now exercise hasn’t been that hard for me. I’m pretty athletic for someone my size! But its been a while and I do have some things that make it difficult. My back has been hurting more than normal. I have one heel also where I’m losing the arch (plantarfascitis) that really bothers me too. But I love exercising! It’s always hard getting yourself to go, but once you are there it feels really good!





Today's workout:


30 min Weight Training: Back


45 min Cardio: 5 min Stair Master


40 min Elliptical



1:00-1:30: I’m doing Adam’s back exercises with him. They told me not to do too much with weights, but I still think it’s important. I think my primary focus should be cardio though. I’m a lucky girl. I know I’m disgusting, but I just love my honey! It is so awesome to find someone that sees your for YOU and not just looking for a Barbie. He is incredible. But anyway that is a different story!



1:30-2:15 PM: Oh man this cardio was tough!!! I had to listen to my ipod and watch tv to distract myself (The Ring was on wahoo). But it felt seriously good! I just kept thinking about all of the things I will be able to do soon. Rollerblading. LOL I guess I’m a kid at heart! I just can’t wait until I can go scuba diving, until I can just do EVERYTHING!!! I will have to blog about it tomorrow!



CHEAT:
6:30-We went to 3 different places tonight to get what we wanted. For his cheat Adam wanted the Jalapeno burger from Carl’s Jr and their fries. I wanted cheddar tater tots from Taco Time and Nachos…mmmm! Then we got a shake from Iceberg.
Honestly it was hard at first to enjoy it because I kept thinking about how many calories I was consuming and I didn’t want to gain anything back, but then the smell hit me lol. You deserve to live a little! I couldn’t even eat all of it. (thankfully)

Day 4!!!!!

7:00 AM: Oh ick it can’t be time to wake up already! Snooze! So funny because on my flex schedule weeks (working 4 ten hour shifts) I have been at work at 7! Funny how I can’t even wake up at that time. (hmm, might be because we keep going to bed after midnight lol)

7:45 AM: Yikes, better get my ars outta bed! Now I will have to quickly do hair without straightening it (like I do almost ALL days lol) Time for breakfast and I’m ready for it. My body needing that start. I have my eggs, protein shake, and my oatmeal and I’m quite sated and finally awake!

8:00 AM: OMG!!!!! Scale HAS to be lying! Not going to report it officially as my scale is off from the one at the clinic, so mums the word for now (ha ha), but lets just say its appearing to be QUITE significant!

11:20 AM: Still feeling great and no cravings! Unheard of SERIOUSLY. I feel like a normal human who is in control of their life for once. OH man, my only regret is not hearing of this magical drug SOONER. I eat my orange with pleasure and drink the slightly icky vitamin drink. Can’t believe I’m full-from an orange people! Eating healthy is suddenly possible. Have to admit though, looking forward to cheat with Adam (my boyfriend) Saturday night J And I think I desserve it. (Though part of me feels like this is cheating or something lol-but honestly I don’t think I could have done it otherwise without some kind of an assistance due to the insane cravings, that I’m really starting to think were slightly physical and not just a sign of mental weakness)………….oh man! Seriously, I’m thinking I for SURE can be to 300 by Disneyland end of March. (You have no idea how awful it is not to go on rides. Luckily Disneyland’s seats are bigger, but do to this gal’s voluptuous booty, I haven’t been able to ride most rides at Lagoon (the only amusement park in Utah basically) for YEARS!!!! So I’m imagining myself on a roller coast and in a wedding dress one day (although NOT both at the same time lol)

4:50: Ok so I thought more about the cheating thing and this is definitely NOT cheating. I am being healthy and eating right and drinking water, no soda pop etc. I’m just enlisting the aid of an appetite suppressant that I need so much! Nothing wrong with using tools that are out there and being monitored by a dr makes me feel good about it J

Day 3!!!!!

DAY 3

Dietwise:

I'm doing really great. Energy is high! I'm sticking to the diet to a tee. Not having cravings. I'm pretty boring! Still peeing A LOT. I'm telling you water goes right through me!

I have to admit there was one point today where I thought about Diet Coke, but I kept myself so busy with work that it quickly passed. I fixed myself one of the fizzy vitamin drinks (check them out, you can get them anywhere-they are called Emergen-C's)

I have told some friends about it already. I know its premature, but I really just KNOW this is going to work. I want everyone to suceed. But it is different for everyone. Some things work for some and not others. But seriously for the first time I feel like I can do it! Its different this time. I'm not obsessed about food all day long. No caffeine headache! No cheating all day long here and there, hoping it won't matter!

I KNOW I SOUND CHEEZY BUT I CAN DO IT!

I am going to cheat one night this weekend, and I feel good about that. You have to have some kind of a reward. No one is going to never eat treats again the rest of their life. That just isn't possible. And the thing is I could actually have a mini candy bar or something a day and it wouldn't hurt anything. I just feel like I don't need it and that is unheard of. Its all about moderation and being realistic.

Motivation:

So today I was looking at a picture of myself back in high school. Hee hee pretty funny pic. I laugh as it was back before I wore much makeup, did much with my hair, or new how to take care of my eyebrows, but BESIDES that look at my size!!! I think I was like a 14 at the time. It was when I went on a little weight loss kick and started exercising like crazy and lost about 30-40 pounds. I think actually my dad and I had done Nutri-System. Ok and nothing against that diet, but no, the food does NOT taste all that great people. Plus I think that diets where you don't eat real food will be really hard when you get back to eating normal stuff to not gain it all back.

But anyway this picture is pretty motivational to me, because I have been heavy for so very long that sometimes its hard to imagine what I would look like.

I have to show a picture of my honey! I met Adam in March. He has had my heart ever since! He is my life. He encourages me. He has actually lost 60 pounds through a trainer and is only 20 away from his goal. I'm afraid this pic of him is actually a fat pic as he is thinner now. Anyway he is my everything! We are thinking of getting married sometime in the future-year to 2 years. Talk about motivation!!!! This butt has to fit in a dress soon!!!! (Not to mention that we want babies)

DAY 2 & BEFORE PICS!!!!

DAY TWO:

Well things went great!!! But don't they always on the 2nd day of a diet? You are all excited and motivated still. Only time will tell if I stick to it!!!!

But I think things look really good. Better than good! Its so wonderful actually. NO CRAVINGS!!!! I can't even believe that. I ALWAYS have cravings!!! Its unheard of and unbelievable. Seriously I've been trying to do the six small meal diet for like 2 years. I would do good but couldn't stick to it. But I always cheated quite a bit because I felt I could get away with it. But now I dont' even crave.

I HAVEN'T CRAVED DIET COKE!!!!

I have to say I'm happier than I've been in a long, long time. I really think this is the time!

I took some before pictures today (even though I've already lost 6 pounds in the pic)

Day ONE!!!!

The Plan (with MD Diet)
-Weekly weigh ins and vitamin shots
-Cleanse of green veggies and lean protein, eating every 2 hours
-Drinking lots of water
-Monthly dr. meetings
-Medications (appetite suppressants, pre-diabetic medication, water pill)

Things I've noticed about today:

1. I have a LOT more energy today. I had a cold recently and have felt so exhausted, so I definitely feel the vitamin B shot from last night.
2. I seriously haven't had cravings! This is unknown to me. I didn't think the phetrimine could work on the same day, but seriously I haven't craved anything.
3. I am having to use the bathroom a lot! The water pill will do that to you.

What I did RIGHT:

1. I set a timer for each snack (I eat every 2 hours) or meal to remind me to take it. This worked SO well.
2. I stuck to my meal plan. (This never happens.)
3. I had a Diet Dr Pepper open, but I threw it away without taking a sip. (again a miracle)

What I could IMPROVE ON:

1. Keep drinking lots of water.
2. Have extra snacks I can eat just in case

How do I FEEL?:

One word-G-R-E-A-T! I seriously am proud of myself. I found something affordable and that I can follow, AND its healthy and being regulated my a dr. This is important to me. Instead of focusing on the past, I'm working on the future to make me a happy and healthy woman!

My MOTIVATION:

• I don't want to feel icky and no energy anymore!
• I don't want to miss out on things because of the weight!
• I want to fit in a wedding dress sometime in the future
• I want to have kids and to be able to bike ride with them etc.
• I want to play sports again
• I want to be able to fit my ass comfortably at theatres, airplane seats, and amusement park rides!!!!!
• I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND IN MARCH! I HAVE TO BE DOWN TO 300 THEN

My Boo Hoo Baggage Sob Story!!!

YOU ate it!!!!

Ok, well we all have our story. We have all had drama in our lives, reasons that we became fat etc. I couldn't claim that mine is any worse than anyone else's.

I don't mean to imply that our situations made us fat and we are just helpless victims, because seriously, unless someone tied you up and forced you to eat ding dongs (that sounds kind of fun j/k) then nothing can cause US to get fat. It didn't happen to us. We LET it happen. I know that sucks to realize, but it is true. BUT I DIDN'T ALWAYS FEEL THAT WAY!

My mother passed away from an accidental suicide when I was 14 years old. I was crushed and my world was turned upside down. I think my entire family started putting on the weight. We were sad, and we thought food made us happy. (that damn food is tricky, tricky). When my dad got re-married a year later and suddenly I was going to a high school and only knowing one person in the whole school (I love you Lisa!!!) and having step-siblings and being in a new home. It was madness coping with all of that!

I thought the drama was over in my life but I battled with depression and kept gaining more weight. I had several times I lost weight but I would gain it back. Then things got even crazier with family life and the Garth Brooks song 'Mama's in the graveyard, papa's in the pen' sort of became my life.

So I ate and ate and ate some more. I was so down and out that I remember food was the only thing that made me happy. I can't tell you how many times I pigged out on things, mindlessly eating calories gallore! For example, I remember being sad that I didn't date, so quite often I'd go get the super size meal at Taco Time for example (and of course with cheese tator tots) and then get a bag of candy and a thing of Ben and Jerry's WITH a whole container of Magic Shell. I kid you not people! I shudder to think of what I did back then. It took me the whole night but I could pretty much pack it all in and I thought it made me happy. THOUGHT being the key word.

Isn't it sad the mindset we have sometimes? The lies we tell ourselves? I hated myself for doing it, but what did I do when I was depressed? I would eat and then eat some more. Then I would blame my mom or my dad or just blame it on my poor sorry life and that I couldn't help it. Boys were mean jerks who only wanted a barbie doll and healthy women were to be loathed.

Sounds comical, but that is pretty much how I was. I was angry and bitter and God and what HE did to me. LOL! I didn't realize until much later that he was there through it and that I survived because of his help.....

But not to wax all religious and all, but there came a time when I had to become accountible. I had to realize that I did it. No one else did it. Yes, I had a hard life, but so does EVERYONE. We all have trials. Some have it worse, some have it better. You just get what you get and you have to deal with it. You either make the most of it, or you can be miserable the rest of your life.

Well folks I got up to 414 pounds at my heaviest! It hit me hard that I would end up (no joking matter) someone who is bed-ridden and would need to be moved by crane or something.

Already things were miserable. Oh it is miserable being morbidly obese! I have problems with chairs at places. I fly for work and I squish myself into that seat and am so embarassed and humiliated and feel horrible for the person next to me. Its painful physically and emotionally.

NO MORE.

I got down to 350 at one point about 3 years ago with a trainer, but in the past 3 years, I have gone from 380ish to 360ish about 25 times no joking! I think I have a mental block.

I found out I'm nearly pre-diabetic. The reason why I have such cravings is because my body doesn't metabolize correctly, so it thinks its starving as it stores what I do eat.

So I heard about the MD diet-you can see more about the solutions they provide in one of my other blogs. I am excited about it. I love that a dr is involved. I love that medication will help control my cravings and help me metabolize better! I love being weighed in once a week, having a specific diet that isn't hard to follow, and getting a vitamin shot for energy weekly! I truly believe I will have sucess.

I firmly believe the key to losing weight is mostly mental. You have to figure out WHY you eat. Not just physical problems, but mental. You have to deal with those demons. I ate when I was sad. I'm much happier now, but its breaking those habits. I realize that I did this to myself, but I no longer hate myself. I love me! I'm proud of me for always trying, and I think I finally have the key to do it. I am beautiful and sexy, but this will help me be more happy!

I can't wait to walk down the aisle with my boyfriend in a dress that I feel good in. I want to have kids and ride bikes with them. So much to look forward to! You have the power within yourself to do it. You have to believe it.

Why is this chubby gal doing the MD Diet???

The Main Problems:
Ø I am morbidly (don’t you hate that term) obese.
Ø I weigh 362 (Start weight: 368.50) eek!!!!!
Ø I’m nearly pre diabetic (pre-pre diabetic??? Lol)
Ø I have out of control cravings for sweets!!!!
Ø Body Fat = 50.5%
Ø Total Body Water = 61.1 liters
Ø Body is not metabolizing sugars correctly-storing instead of using, therefore causing cravings & everything to be stored as fat.

The Solutions:
Ø Pre-diabetic medication will help body metabolize correctly.
Ø Appetite Suppressants will help overeating of sugar/sweets.
Ø Regular program of being weighed in weekly will help motivate.
Ø Nutrition program will serve as a healthy guide.
Ø Weekly Vitamin B shots will help improve energy
Ø Monthly visits with dr monitoring stats & overall health