Tuesday, May 26, 2009

(Some of this to be updated later tonight)
Breakfast: 2 oatmeal raisin cookies, 3 egg whites
Snack: banana, Fiber One bar
Lunch: turkey sandwhich, apple, cheesestick
Snack: fiber one bar, banana
Dinner: chicken salad, protein bar
Water: 20 (8 oz glasses) water
EXERCISE:
Exercising was tough today. So a couple of weeks ago I got kicked in my leg playing soccer. I had a bruise bigger than an orange on my leg. But my leg has been hurting ever since really bad and I couldn’t figure out what it was.
It was hurting especially bad today and I had a feeling I shouldn’t play soccer but I did anyway. I couldn’t even run on it. Its in really bad shape after the game. My poor leg. Already I’m losing the arch in my heel so it hurts to walk anyway and my knee also bothers me. Well I figured out that it’s a shin split. Eeek. Went to the gym but holy cow it was hurting so much, I could only do the treadmill and only for a little bit of time.
· 60 minutes Soccer
· 20 minutes treadmill
· 45 minutes ball workout
WHAT IS GOOD? Well I stuck to it and exercised even though it was incredibly hard with my injured leg. I also drank a lot of water!
WHAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT?: EVERYTHING! Well at least breakfast.
Dear Diary: What is my problem seriously? Why did I go to Great Harvest this morning? I even thought about telling Adam of my craving because I know he would have encouraged me not to go and I wouldn’t have, so I purposely did NOT tell him. What an evil thing. Sheesh, so I want to get in that wedding dress or not?
I guess I just feel so much against me. Part of me is sick of trying so hard and not seeing much in the way of results. And then I fall into that old pattern of you go off and its hard to get back on. Like I know its my birthday Thursday and we are going to Wendover with his family. I know I’ll have cake and end up not following the diet because its my birthday. That would probably be okay, but one day of cheating and I swear I gain 5 pounds with my luck. So I think a part of me is like screw it. Who cares, may as well not try because even if you do try you won’t see many results. Uggh.
Ok, NO I can’t do this again, I just can’t, this self-defeating behavior and thoughts. I’m done and its what has destroyed my chance for happiness all along. I’m not going to let this pattern repeat. Now is the time. Adam will help me and I can do this. I know I can!
So here is the plan:
I’m on second Diet Pepsi right now. This will so be the last for today. No more Diet Pepsis and lots of water is on the beverage menu for me today. Deal with it.
Next, foodwise: No treats from front desk at all, and no straying from the planned diet. For lunch I will have a turkey sandwhich and an orange. For snack I will have a fiber one bar and a banana. No ifs, ands or buts. Tonight for dinner after soccer I will get chicken breast 6 inch sandwhich from Subway and take the top bun off. No cookies! And no pop either.
And exercise wise here is the plan: Soccer tonight for an hour. If I’m there early I will walk around to get more steps. Then I will be going with Adam to the gym when he has the trainer. Typically we are there for like 2 hours when he has the trainer, sometimes slightly more. I will get even more cardio. I will get lots of steps this way for my program at work (have to make up for last week) and lots of good cardio. Tomorrow I will be starting back on my resistance, weights workout.
In fact, here is plan for tomorrow:
B: 3 egg whites, banana, oatmeal
Snack: cottage cheese, orange
L: turkey sandwhich, banana
Snack: fiber one bar, cheese stick
D: chicken, edamama (veggies)
NO DIET PEPSI AT ALL. PURE WATER! And exercise? AM-weights workout, walk workout. PM: more cardio, ball workout
I WILL BLOODY DO THIS IF IT KILLS ME!
1:36-So doing good so far. Had 16 ounces of water so far. Realized I forgot edamame or any veggies so besides my sandwhich I’m having a cheesestick and an apple. That’s ok. I’m super hungry and at least it is healthy stuff.
2:50 PM: Still going strong, only had one moment of hesitation. Was kind of day dreaming about Diet Pepsi, and as if on cue, a co-worker suddenly opened a can. Thoughts of theft or slight maiming might have ensued, but I held strong to my water conviction as it were.
Have now had 6 cups of water, and about the same amount of bathroom trips! Water can be so bloody annoying, especially when your bladder is barely bigger than the size of a pea. Receptionist at front desk must be convinced I have a bladder infection or problem.
4:23 PM: Oh the human mind is a silly thing. I just walked by the front desk again, as I have been like every 20 minutes after using the potty (thank you again water)………and I looked longingly at the chocolate, saw someone with a soda and I immediately thought aw, how sad that I am deprived. Ha ha, reality check chica! Me of all people has NOT been deprived. I’ve led a really rich life when it comes to food. Oh wasn’t every meal, every day or anything like that. But I have not been deprived by any means. So silly the way our brains work honestly!