I'm a little less fat!!!!!

THE RESULTS OF WEEK FOUR!!!!

STARTING WEIGHT: 356

WEEK 1: 350 (Righteous!)

WEEK 2: 345 (Wahfreakinghoo!!!)

WEEK 3: 349 (Totally bogus, heinus. Most non-triumphant)

WEEK 4: 344.5 (Success!!!!)

My Hunky Dorey Progress!!!

Goal is to have at least 1000 defecit daily. Doing good so far!

I GET KNOCKED DOWN BUT I DRAG MYSELF UP AGAIN

Saturday, February 21, 2009
6:00 AM
Oh I’m so very tired! Thank heaven I don’t have to get up right now. Oh, I hate how I get up so much to pee. Look how sweet Adam looks in his sleep. So funny that he sleeps with a pillow on his head. What a nut!
Oh! I should go weigh in. It’s been another week. Wahoo! I’m pretty sure I didn’t do as good this week, but I really think I will lose 2-3 pounds. Monday was pretty bad, but the rest of the days I really did good.
Huh!!!!! 350??? How can that be? I was 345. I gained 5 pounds! Oh please tell me this is a dream.
9:00 AM
I guess it wasn’t a dream. I just can’t believe this seriously. I feel just like giving up. That 350 I swear is a curse. It’s like my body won’t let me leave it. I can’t get up right now. I don’t want to go to the gym. I don’t want to come home and clean. I just want to cry and sleep forever. What is the point? How could I have gained? I’m so sick of this! All this hard work and now to gain? I can’t handle it. Adam really wants to get going but I just can’t stop wallowing in self-pity.
4:39 PM
Well I didn’t give up! I went to the gym and I got re-inspired anew. Worked out hard. After all it is my time of month. Who knows? Things just happen.

I really pushed myself hard at the gym. On the treadmill I kept bumping up the incline and made myself jog as much as I could-12 minutes. Once I couldn't jog anymore I turned up the speed and kept increasing the incline, pushing myself to the max.

After that I did 30 minutes on the Precor machine. Listened to my fast music so I would keep the pace up. I moved it up to level 7 which is a pretty high restistance for me. Its so worth it though.

sometimes it feels hard, but Boo hoo stop crying and keep working hard. It will all pay off in the end. I just need to focus on the big picture ya’ll. Keep eating right and exercising and it will pay off. I will get in that wedding dress and when I go on that cruise a few months later, I will be at a healthy weight.

Steady as a Rock……Finally!

SATURDAY
Today seemed to drag and drag!!! We were so looking forward to our cheat. We’d been good all week long. Worked so hard and exercised so much. I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into one of those Philadelphian sandwiches! I seriously wanted to march in there and scream “I want the biggest thing you have with cheese!” I know some people don’t believe in cheats, but seriously it was such motivation to stick to it the rest of the week. Every day coworkers ate their cheeseburger and fries or tacos. It was hard saying no to the candy bowl after walking past it 10 times a day and I wanted ice cream and donuts, but every time I had these cravings I just kept thinking “Hold on! You can make it until Saturday!
Oh and finally the time came! We seriously couldn’t drive there fast enough. We ordered our food and also went to Iceberg. I discovered my favorite flavor there is the Caramel Pecan. Oh yummy!
Well after all the wait, the sandwich wasn’t all that great. And their onion rings were actually really gross. Oh but the shake was so delicious!
But we were so sick, especially Adam. Now he doesn’t even want to go back there ever, and its his favorite place!!!! So I guess that’s what cheating too much teaches you.

MONDAY
Well for family night it was the birthday of like a bazillion people in Adam’s family so we went to the Bonsaii. Oh my gosh what a fun place! I’d never been there before. They make the food right in front of you, these funny Japanese men. They even throw food at you. It’s quite the entertainment!
But yikes it was so much food!!! A lot of it was quite healthy, and we really did try to be good, but mercy!

TUESDAY
Time to pay the piper! Rah I gained back 3 pounds. No worries though. I can lose it and more by Saturday. Nothing will get in my way now.
I worked out so hard today it’s unbelievable. I worked out in the morning and then at night when Adam had the trainer. I worked out for nearly 3 hours today. I did a ton of cardio and the leg workout from hell. Seriously I showed no mercy to myself! This will hopefully really pay off though.

WEDNESDAY
Wow, seriously wow! I lost the 3 pounds already. Yesterday was worth it! Oh I wish I had seen that BEFORE I slept in and missed my extra workout. Rah! I have a cold again and my legs were hurting so bad! This is what made it so hard to work out. Seriously, how do those people on the Biggest Loser workout for 5 hours or whatever they do??? I consider myself to be pretty athletic and that 3 hours nearly killed me. Kudos to them! I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!
BTW I was watching it at the gym, which hello is so motivating!!! I seriously love that show. I nearly cried when the brown team did NOT get kicked off. Wahoo!!!!
It’s the only show I’ll let myself watch at the gym. I have found that music is so much better. If you are trying to lose weight and have a hard time at the gym, you seriously need to invest in an ipod. You also need to have a playlist specifically for the gym. I put really fast music on there. I highly recommend really fast and fun music. I really love 80’s music like “Hey Mickey”. Billy Jean rocks. My favorite though has been Elvis. Don’t laugh. My mom loved Elvis so she must approve. Anyway for reals, his fast music is so fast-paced. Don’t believe me? Listen to “Hound Dog”, “Jailhouse Rock”, or “I’m All Shook Up”. Listen to that and I guarantee you start moving on that machine twice as fast. You can’t help it. But beware, the people next to you just might give you crusties for looking so happy while working out.
Tonight we had something really yummy. You can only have chicken and veggies so many nights in a row. So we had ground turkey and cut up like 3 green peppers and 3 onions. Mixed it all together with manwich. We ate it with no bread, and it was delicious. Honestly with the sauce, you can’t even tell that its not hamburger and you don’t miss the bread. Its wonderful!

WHAT ARE RESULTS???? WEEK 2

Has she actually stuck to the program? Ususally no news is bad news from this chicky!!!!!
All right I won't keep you in suspense any longer!!!!!

START WEIGHT: 356
LAST WEEK: 350
TODAY'S WEIGHT: 345!!!!!
WEIGHT LOSS: 11 POUNDS

I haven't been perfect, in fact last night Adam got chocolates from work and we ate a lot of them!!!! But for the most part I was really really good. I seriously lived at the gym practically!

I just stuck to it. I keep wearing this Bodybugg and it helps me. I've been looking forward to our big cheat tonight. Since I've ost more than ten so far and Adam reached a big goal we are truly having a big cheat, not just a shake. A whole meal and dessert. MMMM its going to be glorious. I know they say don't reward yourself with food, and maybe that works for some people, but I have to have the good stuff everyone once in a while. Once a week isn't bad!!!

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days!!!!

3 DAYS IN REVIEW:

Saturday-Monday:

SATURDAY:
Nothing special about today other than the fact that it was weigh in day! I was pretty pumped all day and felt pretty strong. It was a little bit challenging at a party I went to that night. There was lots of yummy foods and I had to remain strong. I just kept in mind my goal of being 345 by the next Saturday so I was really good.
We got up early to exercise and it was so nice to get it done with already earlier than normal and have so many calories already burned. It really gave me a boost.
Exercise: 60 minutes elliptical-1015 calories

SUNDAY:
Today we went out to eat for lunch. We had a salad, but I have noticed we have more calories when we eat out, even when you choose items so you have to be careful to not do it too much.
We actually saw two movies today, and I’m really proud of us that we were really good. Its not easy. The smell of the buttered popcorn hits you right when you walk in. Through the movie you hear people eating in, and those lovely Coke commercials and everything. Luckily I can have my Diet Coke this week so I was sated in that respect! It really felt like a treat having one.
The hardest was at the second theatre-Jordan Commons. For some reason we were both just craving like crazy! And they have the most wonderful foods. I think I was just super craving more than normal but I’m very proud I didn’t give in. And it was hard, because the ice cream and the fudge looked so yummy.
Workout today was really hard. I was so tired afterwards and sore.
Exercise: 30 minutes elliptical- 381 calories; 30 minutes Precor machine-515 calories

MONDAY:
Today wasn’t bad at all. I’m just sticking to everything as I need to be. They even had pizza brought in for everyone. I wasn’t even tempted. I even got some for a coworker and I will admit the smell was wonderful. But I was hungry. I just add my chicken salad and it filled me up and I was satisfied! The candy at the front desk and chocolate at my boss’s desk didn’t even tempt me much.
I did a stupid thing tonight. After the gym Adam weighed in. He is trying to get to 190 by tomorrow so he weighed in and I thought I would weigh in too. I was 354. Adam immediately encouraged me and pointed out that I might have been weighing myself wrong. He noticed at the 350 that I had pushed it too far and it’s the maximum amount below (its one of those old doctor’s scale) so I may not have weighed what I thought I did last week. He also pointed out that I will weigh less in the morning anyway. Well we will see what I weigh tomorrow. I really should think about just having Diet Coke on the weekends because that is a reason I could have gone up too…..we shall see tomorrow.
Exercise: 60 minutes Precor machine-832 calories; shoulders-203 calories

It's Been a Hard Week.......

Hey, I'm not gonna pretty it up. I'd love to say, oh it was easy, just eat right and exercise and that did it. Easy as pie. Well it wasn't.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy as hell. I lost 6 pounds!!!! Wahoo.

But I'm not gonna sugar coat it. This has been really hard. The work has been hard. It has taken everything I have to give, and will continue doing so in so many areas. To name a few:

1. BODY: My body hurts! Every day and all the time. I feel like I'm big time whining, but its true. I have muscles aching that I didn't know I had. I have a bum knee that hurts. My legs always ache for some reason. My back I've always had problems with. Sometimes its all I can do to stay and work out at the gym. But this is what is required to get what I want, and I'm willing to do what it takes. And I guess every time I complain, I sit there and think, hey it WILL get better if I keep it up. And honestly, it is my fault it got so bad. And thats ok to admit. I dont hate myself or anything. Its just a reality. I forgive myself. Its how I coped with some really hard things.
But I have to admit, although Adam has to drag me, I do kind of love the burn. I love how I feel after a hard workout. I love when I'm there and pushing myself to the max on most days. (You know besides the off days where you wish you were sleeping or eating a donut).....I'm just so proud of this change I'm making. So I just have to remind myself that its so worth it and that it is paying off. I will see the results I want eventually. Another thing, I quite enjoy doing what people think I couldn't do at this weight. Above all, I just enjoy pushing myself and doing more than I ever thought possible.

2. MIND: Ok so this is a big one too. I haven't always been ready in the past. For years I've lived in victim mode where I blame the world. Or perhaps I blame my parents at times for all the drama we've had to deal with. But none of that is helpful. That just is my way of not taking responsibility and telling myself its okay to eat 5 donuts because after all my mother accidentally killed herself and my father was incarcerated. I desserve it, right? Actually no, I desserve better. Not because of what I've been through. We all have our trials. But because I'm human I desserve to be happy. I desserve to be healthy. ITS UP TO ME! I can do this. Its in my hands. So its up to me. Do I want to have children and be able to run around with them, or do I want to eat McDonald's every morning?

3. DETERMINATION: Its all about consistancy. Above all, this is my biggest weakness. But you have to be able to get back up again, no matter how many times you fall of the horse. If you really want to taste that sucess, well stop tasting the sweets!!! If you get off, get right back on and quickly. That is what I'm reminding myself of all the time! Stop looking in the past and focus on the future! Who cares that I've gotten to 350 like 35 times. This is the last time I will weigh that. My goal is to be 345 on Saturday.

4. PATIENCE: This is the thing I struggle with the most. You see results, but you want them quicker. You want to be in that bikini in a couple of months. But you have to be realistic. It didn't come in one day, you aren't going to lose it in one day. I'm learning this. I need to celebrate small sucesses! Ah hah! See, I caught myself. Small???? How is 6 pounds small??? That is huge!

In summary, I guess I'm just sick of all the bullcrap, all the whining and excuses. I'm not going to stop working hard, because that is what it takes. I will be healthy at my wedding and be able to have children with Adam. We will go on family hikes!
I know I'm not going to be perfect. I will mess up. but thats ok. I also know I will work hard and I'm going to stick to it. How will I do that? By knowing I can and just doing it. This Bodybugg is really working for me. I'm understanding the science of weight loss like I never have before.
Why is this time different from all the other times? Well I know the things I need to change, my weaknesses. One is that as soon as I see success, I think I'm done and I quit. Another, I get sad when I don't lose. Well that isn't going to happen. I'm doing really good and working hard. And if I have a week I don't lose as much I'm prepared for it. I will be happy at every step closer to my goal I take. I'm also committed entirely this time and that is the difference.