Making it a Holly Jolly Christmas!!!!

A friend recently asked me if I was happy, and it led me to much pondering. I really AM happy! Lol. I am so happy, so much happier than I have been in a long time, but isn’t it funny how we over-dramatize and put undue stress on ourselves for really no good reason at all?
Here I’ve been stressing about a Christmas project. I wanted to make some videos for my family. There were going to be two videos. I bought some nice software and began the process of putting all the video footage in my computer and scanning all of my pictures.

I had NO idea how much time this process would take. I had the week of thanksgiving off, and I literally lived in the office that week and have spent hours in there. I have most of the footage in there now, but I’m still scanning pictures. Then I have to learn the software, and I want to take some time to make it special. Anyway I was totally stressing and just in tears that it wouldn’t be done for Christmas. For example, we have 4 parties this week-work and family. But what a silly thing!!!! Is it really that important that it be done by Christmas?

It made me think of the weight issue, and that has really stressed me out as well. I just keep thinking how much we want to get married, and how I keep going up and down with the weight, and how my heart is set on being at a better size. I don’t want to have my bridal dress “special made”, and I don’t want to have to use a tent to make it lol. No but seriously, just want to have lost like 100 from this weight. I could live with being like 250. I went up a little at thanksgiving. And I guess I was so let-down by the meds. Couldn’t handle being dizzy and nauseated all the time. Then on the new pill, I keep forgetting to take it! Also been stressing about money because I don’t have anyone to help me with the wedding and I’m in debt to my eyeballs, so we are looking at 2 years from now.

But again, I had to stop and really think about it. We have such a tendency to see the negative. But really, what an opportunity! I can do this. I started weighing every day, and it makes me more conscious of what I’m eating. I lost 1 ½ pounds from yesterday and that is exciting. Yesterday we did 40 minutes cardio and then 2 weight lifting workouts. I just need to eat good and exercise. Its not rocket science. And I will set the alarms on my phone so that I remember to eat my snacks and take my pills 30 minutes before I eat lunch and dinner. I want to be healthier and feel good about myself.

And I am such a lucky girl. Adam loves me for who I am. He doesn’t pressure me at all. He really helps me, because he loves me and he knows I would be happier being healthy. But I love that he sees who I really am and loves me for me. That means the world to me. He is so supportive and so understanding. And he is a great example to me. For example, he is supposed to do push-ups every day and was going to do them at night, but he kept missing it. So what he does now is does them at work under his desk. So in other words, if something isn’t quite working, tweak it and make it work….on that note, I just set my alarm for snack, for 30 minutes prior to lunch, and for lunchtime.

So much to look forward to! Getting my success and being healthier! Getting married to the man I love, and having babies one day!