WEEKLY EXERCISE:
SUNDAY:
CARDIO: Dance video-45 minutes
WEIGHTS: Turbo Jam video-25 minutes
MONDAY:
CARDIO: Power Walk video-30 minutes; 30 minutes jog in place
WEIGHTS:
TUESDAY:
CARDIO:
WEIGHTS: Biggest Loser Boot Camp Video-1 hour
WEDNESDAY:
CARDIO: Jillian’s cardio boxing video-20 minutes; Denise’s cardio dance party video-40 minutes; 30 minutes Precor machine; 30 minutes treadmill (23 jogging)
WEIGHTS:
THURSDAY:
CARDIO: 25 minutes Jillian’s cardio boxing video; 1 ½ hours cleaning
WEIGHTS:
FRIDAY:
CARDIO: 30 minutes Dance Cardio workout (AM)
WEIGHTS:
SATURDAY:
CARDIO: 20 minutes elliptical; 20 minutes treadmill (jog 14 minutes)
WEIGHTS: shoulders & legs: fast jog, jump rope, lunges, squats, leg lifts, 3 shoulder machines
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Saturday-WEIGH IN DAY!!!!
So I woke up today and was both nervous AND excited to weigh in. I was half-way preparing myself for the same weight or maybe like 2 pounds and decided I would be happy with whatever because I know eventually I’ll see results. I was SO excited to see that I lost 6 ½ pounds!! Wahoo!!!!! I was seriously elated and wouldn’t shut up about it all day long.
We had a LOT of fun today. We went and had our cheat for breakfast this time. It was so so so yummy. Then we saw the movie Monsters Vs. Aliens with my family. After that we went to the Dinosaur Musuem and went out to dinner. It was a blast. Its been a nice day.
Tomorrow I begin the “cleanse” of sorts. Gonna be tough but I know I can do it and that it will be worth it.
We had a LOT of fun today. We went and had our cheat for breakfast this time. It was so so so yummy. Then we saw the movie Monsters Vs. Aliens with my family. After that we went to the Dinosaur Musuem and went out to dinner. It was a blast. Its been a nice day.
Tomorrow I begin the “cleanse” of sorts. Gonna be tough but I know I can do it and that it will be worth it.
Friday
My last day before I weigh in. I’m trying not to get too excited about weighing in considering how last week went lol. But I’m still determined to do good and just stick to it no matter what. I know in the long run I will have good results.
In the last few days I’ve noticed that blogging about it has really helped me just focus on it more. One of my friends was saying I should put a weekly pic. I’ve even though about doing a video diary so who knows what I’ll end up doing.
I’m also really excited for the next week. My amazing boyfriend Adam sacrificed his entire visit with the trainer and she came up with a diet for me to try. It is a 10 days sort of a cleanse. But its not like the harsh ones where you just drink juice or something. You can do it for 10 days and then there is a regular diet to follow thereafter, but she says also you can restart the 10 day over if you want so I’m going to start that on Sunday. You have to be super good and super strict, but I think my body really needs that shock etc, so I’m excited to try it. I’m really thankful for her help. Such support I have!
In the last few days I’ve noticed that blogging about it has really helped me just focus on it more. One of my friends was saying I should put a weekly pic. I’ve even though about doing a video diary so who knows what I’ll end up doing.
I’m also really excited for the next week. My amazing boyfriend Adam sacrificed his entire visit with the trainer and she came up with a diet for me to try. It is a 10 days sort of a cleanse. But its not like the harsh ones where you just drink juice or something. You can do it for 10 days and then there is a regular diet to follow thereafter, but she says also you can restart the 10 day over if you want so I’m going to start that on Sunday. You have to be super good and super strict, but I think my body really needs that shock etc, so I’m excited to try it. I’m really thankful for her help. Such support I have!
Friday, March 27, 2009
THURSDAY
Well here we are again! Just taking it one day at a time. I seem to have the hardest time in the morning. Seriously something in me just wants to eat McDonalds for breakfast every day. The most evil side actually wants to go to Burger King and have a sausage croissant combo with a mocha joe and an order of cinni minis. I think that’s almost 1000 calories right there. Gross. Lots of fat and sodium to boot. But damn its yummy! So in the mornings, every part of me just wants that. Isn’t that weird? What is the reason for that? Is it because I’m tired and you think that food makes it better? Does your body just crave fat? I just don’t know what it is. But thankfully Adam actually makes most of my breakfast as I do our dinner. What a sweet man! So my eggs are already ready and I find that once I sit down and eat all my breakfast, I am satisfied and no longer hungry, so its just getting through it. I have a really decent breakfast, so often I have to remind myself when its snack time. Experts really do recommend the 5-6 small meals to keep your metabolism up to par, and I think that has proven to be the best method for me. Its not until the afternoon when I really start to snack. I eat lunch as late as possible so that I can work through the cravings. If I have a piece of candy at work, I don’t sweat it. If I get one every time I go by the front desk, then there is a problem.
Some days lunch is hard. Like today, coworkers came back with their yummy smelling greasy & salty foods as usual. I seriously have to stop myself from grabbing my keys and picking something up. I remind myself that I have a lunch already that I just need to heat up and that it is healthy and what my body needs. Its low calorie and will help me make my dreams come true. Specifically, it will help me get in that wedding dress one day and help me get to a healthy weight where I could pop out a kid or two that I keep dreaming about. (Just a couple nights ago, we had an adorable little girl with blue eyes and curly blonde hair).
I’ve been super sore today from yesterday’s massive workout. My knees, back, and heels remind me how this is tough on a broad at this weight. But I just smile and work through the pain, because it will get easier.
Tonight is my cleaning night, so typically I count that as my workout. But since I’m doing the double my previous workouts, I’m going to do an hour of cardio first and then do my 2 hour cleaning. I know that I will need to do the workout first. If I say I will do it after I clean, I know I will be tired and want to not do it. Planning ahead! It really helps.
Every step I take just helps me get that much closer to my goal. Don’t worry about the past, don’t worry about how big the goal seems, just work on right now, today and exercise and eat right and everything will be fine.
Later same night:
Well I did do my workout first-Jillian’s killer workout video and then cleaned for an hour and a half. Wahoo yeah me.
Some days lunch is hard. Like today, coworkers came back with their yummy smelling greasy & salty foods as usual. I seriously have to stop myself from grabbing my keys and picking something up. I remind myself that I have a lunch already that I just need to heat up and that it is healthy and what my body needs. Its low calorie and will help me make my dreams come true. Specifically, it will help me get in that wedding dress one day and help me get to a healthy weight where I could pop out a kid or two that I keep dreaming about. (Just a couple nights ago, we had an adorable little girl with blue eyes and curly blonde hair).
I’ve been super sore today from yesterday’s massive workout. My knees, back, and heels remind me how this is tough on a broad at this weight. But I just smile and work through the pain, because it will get easier.
Tonight is my cleaning night, so typically I count that as my workout. But since I’m doing the double my previous workouts, I’m going to do an hour of cardio first and then do my 2 hour cleaning. I know that I will need to do the workout first. If I say I will do it after I clean, I know I will be tired and want to not do it. Planning ahead! It really helps.
Every step I take just helps me get that much closer to my goal. Don’t worry about the past, don’t worry about how big the goal seems, just work on right now, today and exercise and eat right and everything will be fine.
Later same night:
Well I did do my workout first-Jillian’s killer workout video and then cleaned for an hour and a half. Wahoo yeah me.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
What a day-Wednesday :)
So I think it will really help me to just blog constantly about this whole journey. Its really about every small decision you make. So I think this will really help me focus and figure it all out. Last week I hit a low point and nearly gave up when I gained 3 pounds when I seriously ate clean and worked my ass off at the gym. I felt like giving up. I really let it get to me and just cried and felt sorry for myself. I finally realized that I really do want this, and for me I think I need to workout even more and I will see success.
Oh wow! So tonight I really brought it. Backing up, I felt like foodwise I was a bit too snacky earlier today, but I did all right. Its like 80% what you eat, so I really need to remember that and perfect my choices. So there is always room for improvement.
But working out wowsers! So I’ve been saying all week that I need to do double workout. I keep saying it but didn’t do it yet. Yes I worked out Sunday-Tuesday, but just the normal workout.
For me I think I just really need to kick it up a notch. So when I get home from work I did an hour of cardio. This was an intense hour. I have some new videos, but I looked at some that were burned for me a while back from some former coworkers at Ingenix. So I had one of Jillian’s videos. It wasn’t very long, but holy intense. I mean you are jumping rope, doing jumping jacks and all in double time with no rests. Even Jillian is sweating like crazy from her own workout. It was seriously intense. And its interesting my attitude about it. I have always had that competitive part of my personality that I’m constantly having to fight. Many times I’ve gotten all mad that they can do more than me, so I have to really stop myself from killing myself and remember that they are half or 1/3 my weight so its impossible to do exactly the same at some points. And yet there is that other side that you have to fight of being lazy. Like Heather (Adam’s trainer) says, I’m the fittest fat person she has ever met. So I really do have to push myself hard. Its all about finding the right balance for yourself where you are pushing hard but not killing yourself and causing injury. But watching the biggest loser, I’ve learned you can push yourself harder than you think.
Jillian’s kickboxing video is so killer. It would work out really fit people . I fought my damnest to keep up. There is so much jumping going on. Its hard for fat people to jump (not to mention frightening to watch lol). But I made myself do the jump rope etc. The only thing I really had an issue with was the jumping jacks. The first round I just jogged in place. But then I made myself do them the next few sets. I could only do 10 o the 30 and not double time like the rest of them, but I was damn proud of myself. Sweat was just flowing off of me like a river, so that is when I know I’m pushing it and giving 110%. So after that I did 40 minutes of a dance cardio workout. There was a lot of jumping etc in that too. I was dying because yesterday the biggest Loser Bootcamp one had you do tons of squats and lunges, as did both workouts today. I remember doing this dance one before, but I really kicked it up and tried to keep up with them and jump just like they do so it was intense and a great workout.
Then after Adam got home it was off to the gym for more cardio. I did 30 on the Precor machine and then 30 on the elliptical. The whole time I just kept thinking push, push push and imagine if I was on the biggest loser how hard they would push you. You just have to be your own little trainer. Its easy to lose focus and just kind of daydream. If you aren’t really focusing, you just aren’t really doing that much. On the precor there was a few moments I had to slow it down when I had this killer sideache but I just worked through it.
On the treadmill I was determined to do what I haven’t done for years. I wanted to jog the entire 30. Rah, damn sideaches. I had to stop for 7. But 23 minutes is the best I’ve done in a long time. So yeah the goal was to reach 3000 calories to burn today, and so far the bodybugg says 4161 with a couple hours still left. Wahoo!!!!
So I just need to keep this intensity, this motivation. It takes your focus all day long. I'm really proud of myself today.
Oh wow! So tonight I really brought it. Backing up, I felt like foodwise I was a bit too snacky earlier today, but I did all right. Its like 80% what you eat, so I really need to remember that and perfect my choices. So there is always room for improvement.
But working out wowsers! So I’ve been saying all week that I need to do double workout. I keep saying it but didn’t do it yet. Yes I worked out Sunday-Tuesday, but just the normal workout.
For me I think I just really need to kick it up a notch. So when I get home from work I did an hour of cardio. This was an intense hour. I have some new videos, but I looked at some that were burned for me a while back from some former coworkers at Ingenix. So I had one of Jillian’s videos. It wasn’t very long, but holy intense. I mean you are jumping rope, doing jumping jacks and all in double time with no rests. Even Jillian is sweating like crazy from her own workout. It was seriously intense. And its interesting my attitude about it. I have always had that competitive part of my personality that I’m constantly having to fight. Many times I’ve gotten all mad that they can do more than me, so I have to really stop myself from killing myself and remember that they are half or 1/3 my weight so its impossible to do exactly the same at some points. And yet there is that other side that you have to fight of being lazy. Like Heather (Adam’s trainer) says, I’m the fittest fat person she has ever met. So I really do have to push myself hard. Its all about finding the right balance for yourself where you are pushing hard but not killing yourself and causing injury. But watching the biggest loser, I’ve learned you can push yourself harder than you think.
Jillian’s kickboxing video is so killer. It would work out really fit people . I fought my damnest to keep up. There is so much jumping going on. Its hard for fat people to jump (not to mention frightening to watch lol). But I made myself do the jump rope etc. The only thing I really had an issue with was the jumping jacks. The first round I just jogged in place. But then I made myself do them the next few sets. I could only do 10 o the 30 and not double time like the rest of them, but I was damn proud of myself. Sweat was just flowing off of me like a river, so that is when I know I’m pushing it and giving 110%. So after that I did 40 minutes of a dance cardio workout. There was a lot of jumping etc in that too. I was dying because yesterday the biggest Loser Bootcamp one had you do tons of squats and lunges, as did both workouts today. I remember doing this dance one before, but I really kicked it up and tried to keep up with them and jump just like they do so it was intense and a great workout.
Then after Adam got home it was off to the gym for more cardio. I did 30 on the Precor machine and then 30 on the elliptical. The whole time I just kept thinking push, push push and imagine if I was on the biggest loser how hard they would push you. You just have to be your own little trainer. Its easy to lose focus and just kind of daydream. If you aren’t really focusing, you just aren’t really doing that much. On the precor there was a few moments I had to slow it down when I had this killer sideache but I just worked through it.
On the treadmill I was determined to do what I haven’t done for years. I wanted to jog the entire 30. Rah, damn sideaches. I had to stop for 7. But 23 minutes is the best I’ve done in a long time. So yeah the goal was to reach 3000 calories to burn today, and so far the bodybugg says 4161 with a couple hours still left. Wahoo!!!!
So I just need to keep this intensity, this motivation. It takes your focus all day long. I'm really proud of myself today.
Onward with the Weightloss Battle
So the battle continues. Sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down. There are times you get hit and it takes a bit to recover. But the last thing you should do is quit and give up. And the most important thing you can do each time you fall, is review what happened so that you can try to prevent it again. If you don’t, you will most likely make the same mistake over and over again.
So I’m starting to really analyze myself and my behavior. Last week was just kind of fluky, and there is nothing you can do about monthly women’s troubles. But I can prevent other mishaps that have caused me to fall hard. One is that ever ominous and present desire to cheat. Is it a feeling of rebellion? Does it excite me knowing I’m doing something I shouldn’t? I don’t really think that is it. Could part of it be fear? Afraid of who I would be as a healthy person? A fear of losing the old excuse for everything and what you let define you as a person? Could very well be.
So I’m having to realize that this weight, the way I look does NOT define who I am as a person. I will still be myself no matter what happens. I have nothing to fear, and just so much to look forward to. I can’t be afraid of it. So that is the EMOTIONAL side of it. So quit sabotaging myself and focus on the wonderful things to look forward to.
So as far as the BEHAVIORAL side of things, there is also some preventative action to take. There is one thing I really must change. Its this learned behavior that I have taught myself, which is kind of a form of protection. Its like an avoidance of reality and pain. Whenever I’m sad, depressed, made etc, I eat. Basically, anytime things go amiss, the thought automatically appears in my brain that something fattening will magically make it all better. It just simply isn’t true. It’s a lie I’ve told myself for years. And you know, it feels partially true for like 3 seconds as you taste that glorious food, but then the reward is gone. And in its place is complete misery and you feel worse than you did before.
I’m sick of covering up the blemish and only making it worse. Its time to actually heal the problem at its source. Time to change that “automatic” reflex. If I have a bad day, something on my mind, well just deal with it. Talk it out with Adam or someone. Write about it, deal with it. Go for a walk. Do something healthy instead of making it all worse.
So I’m starting to really analyze myself and my behavior. Last week was just kind of fluky, and there is nothing you can do about monthly women’s troubles. But I can prevent other mishaps that have caused me to fall hard. One is that ever ominous and present desire to cheat. Is it a feeling of rebellion? Does it excite me knowing I’m doing something I shouldn’t? I don’t really think that is it. Could part of it be fear? Afraid of who I would be as a healthy person? A fear of losing the old excuse for everything and what you let define you as a person? Could very well be.
So I’m having to realize that this weight, the way I look does NOT define who I am as a person. I will still be myself no matter what happens. I have nothing to fear, and just so much to look forward to. I can’t be afraid of it. So that is the EMOTIONAL side of it. So quit sabotaging myself and focus on the wonderful things to look forward to.
So as far as the BEHAVIORAL side of things, there is also some preventative action to take. There is one thing I really must change. Its this learned behavior that I have taught myself, which is kind of a form of protection. Its like an avoidance of reality and pain. Whenever I’m sad, depressed, made etc, I eat. Basically, anytime things go amiss, the thought automatically appears in my brain that something fattening will magically make it all better. It just simply isn’t true. It’s a lie I’ve told myself for years. And you know, it feels partially true for like 3 seconds as you taste that glorious food, but then the reward is gone. And in its place is complete misery and you feel worse than you did before.
I’m sick of covering up the blemish and only making it worse. Its time to actually heal the problem at its source. Time to change that “automatic” reflex. If I have a bad day, something on my mind, well just deal with it. Talk it out with Adam or someone. Write about it, deal with it. Go for a walk. Do something healthy instead of making it all worse.
Monday, March 23, 2009
American Idol baby!
MY AMERICAN IDOL TRI-FECTA (TOP 3):
#1:MEGAN JOY
Okay I seriously love her! And kudos to her for being able to do this practically at death’s door. Ok that may be exaggerating, but the girl was hospitalized. She did amazing. I just love her voice, its different. She sounds very much like a modern artist whom I can’t recall her name. But she also reminds me of the Mamas and the Papas. She is my favorite, and not at all because she is from Utah. She just rocks. And that weird little wiggle she does is just cute. She doesn’t have the best vocals to be honest, but I think she is a favorite for that odd way she sings and her quirky personality. I think at least top 5, but I hope for top 3.
#2: ALEXIS GRACE
Oh man Alexis!!! She is (WAS-spoiler alert) my 2nd favorite. Seriously she blew me away a few weeks back and I totally agreed with the judges how great she way. Ok, her song choice wasn’t the best. But honestly, I’m kind of mad at the judges. They told her that they wanted to see her soft side, so she tries to do something different and then they tell her that she has lost her edge. Huh!!!! So seriously, I cried when she was voted off. Can’t believe they didn’t save her. One bad choice and you are through. Such a bummer.
#3: ALLISON IRAHETA
HONORABLE MENTION:
MOST IMPROVED:
THE WORST:
ADAM LAMBERT:
Ok, I’m sorry. I know he has a million fans! I feel a little bad about nominating him, but that’s just how I see it. And its funny because Adam was my FAVORITE (besides Megan) in the auditions and I have loved him before this performance. Sure he was over the top a little, drama boy. But I loved it. I love his style how he dares to be different and do what he wants.
I don’t know why I don’t feel like that any longer. But seriously, what the hell was that? He sang this really uber freaky version of the Reign of Fire song. Ok, now I’m not the biggest fan of that song anyway, but I have no clue what he was singing. That version seriously was so bizarre. Now normally bizarre is good. But the way he sang it slow, it was kind of like going to Satan’s concert or something. The trill on his high notes was just disgusting. Ick. I can’t even describe it. Hoping for better from him this week.
#1:MEGAN JOY
Okay I seriously love her! And kudos to her for being able to do this practically at death’s door. Ok that may be exaggerating, but the girl was hospitalized. She did amazing. I just love her voice, its different. She sounds very much like a modern artist whom I can’t recall her name. But she also reminds me of the Mamas and the Papas. She is my favorite, and not at all because she is from Utah. She just rocks. And that weird little wiggle she does is just cute. She doesn’t have the best vocals to be honest, but I think she is a favorite for that odd way she sings and her quirky personality. I think at least top 5, but I hope for top 3.
#2: ALEXIS GRACEOh man Alexis!!! She is (WAS-spoiler alert) my 2nd favorite. Seriously she blew me away a few weeks back and I totally agreed with the judges how great she way. Ok, her song choice wasn’t the best. But honestly, I’m kind of mad at the judges. They told her that they wanted to see her soft side, so she tries to do something different and then they tell her that she has lost her edge. Huh!!!! So seriously, I cried when she was voted off. Can’t believe they didn’t save her. One bad choice and you are through. Such a bummer.
#3: ALLISON IRAHETA
Okay now I know she is kind of strange looking, and can be a little over the top, but I seriously love this girl. A-Mazing vocals! She is incredibly mature for one so young. I didn’t think it was her best performance though, and sorry to say but Simon was a little right when he said she is bordering on precocious. But seriously she will go far. I think top 3 because she has that rocker edge.
HONORABLE MENTION:SCOTT MACINTYRE:
Scottie! Ok I love this guy. I don’t know why. Is it just because he is blind? It could be, because every time he sings I just cry. He is just so sweet and I want him to do well. Definitely not the best singer of the bunch. I think he can really sing with all his heart, but has kind of been doing worse and worse. Also, he needs to pick better songs. But I adore him for some reason.
MOST IMPROVED:ANOOP DESAI:
Okay WOW. Before tonight I thought he sucked big time. Could not understand why he was picked. Was such a dork before and couldn’t hear any great voice AT ALL. But seriously, the judges know a lot better than me. Because he blew me out of the water. He did INCREDIBLE. Wow, talk about being the underdog.
THE WORST:
ADAM LAMBERT:
Ok, I’m sorry. I know he has a million fans! I feel a little bad about nominating him, but that’s just how I see it. And its funny because Adam was my FAVORITE (besides Megan) in the auditions and I have loved him before this performance. Sure he was over the top a little, drama boy. But I loved it. I love his style how he dares to be different and do what he wants.
I don’t know why I don’t feel like that any longer. But seriously, what the hell was that? He sang this really uber freaky version of the Reign of Fire song. Ok, now I’m not the biggest fan of that song anyway, but I have no clue what he was singing. That version seriously was so bizarre. Now normally bizarre is good. But the way he sang it slow, it was kind of like going to Satan’s concert or something. The trill on his high notes was just disgusting. Ick. I can’t even describe it. Hoping for better from him this week.
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