The Plan

Ok time to rededicate! Now tomorrow Adam's mom is making me enchiladas. So I figure I better be perfect the whole day so it doesn't set me back and exercise before and after work!

Also, tomorrow.........

I'M QUITTING DIET COKE!!!!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Breakfast: 3 eggs, oatmeal, banana
Snack: none
Lunch: popcorn (nice & healthy)
Snack: none
Dinner: 2 hot dogs (no buns), salad, tons of veggies
EXERCISE: none
WHAT IS GOOD?
WHAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT?: Everything J

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Date: Saturday, May 30, 2009 Milcreek Day!!!
Breakfast: 4 eggs, 2 sausage, 2 bacon, fried potatoes, fruit
Snack: 2 pieces of chocolate
Lunch: hamburger, hot dog (no buns), veggies
Snack:
Dinner: lasagna, veggies, fruit
EXERCISE:
· 45 minutes hikings
WHAT IS GOOD?
WHAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT?:Dear Diary: Eeek, okay trying to be really good when you spend the whole day at Milcreek Canyon and then the evening on the yearly retreat with the women in Adam’s family is just really hard. Sitting here looking back at all I ate, it freaks me out. Cuz I thought I was being good compared to everyone else lol. Thank goodness for that big hike!

You say its your Birthday!

Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wow another year older and deeper in debt! I had such a fun birthday. We went with Adam’s family to Wendover on a bus. His mom had organized the whole thing. It was only like $14 and we got lots of fun things like $5 to spend there, a free coffee, free buffet. Seriously it was an amazing deal. Adam and I had so much fun playing on the machines. Neither of us have done it that much, he in fact had never been to Wendover. We gave ourselves some fun money to spend. I lost all mine of course. But Adam actually won! He spent his money on me for my birthday after we got home. I got a bunch of clothes, yeah me!!!! What a sweetie eh? I just love that man of mine! Anyway it was a great day. We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. Yummers!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Breakfast: 3 egg whites, ½ cup granola, ½ cup milk, banana
Snack: Fiber One bar, banana
Lunch: edamame beans, ¾ cup brown rice, cheese stick
Snack: apples, cottage cheese
Dinner:
EXERCISE:
WHAT IS GOOD? Well I only have one Diet Pepsi today, that is very very good. So I’m drinking tons and tons of water J
WHAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT?:
Dear Diary: Holy cow, can’t believe its my birthday tomorrow! Isn’t that just crazy. Well for once I’m not really that worried about it to be honest. Its just a number, and nearly the whole time I’ve been 33, I thought I was 34 anyway so I guess it doesn’t matter at all!
I’m so excited, we are going to Wendover with Adam’s family and actually taking the fun bus! I’m so excited for it. Haven’t been there in ages so it should be a blast

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

(Some of this to be updated later tonight)
Breakfast: 2 oatmeal raisin cookies, 3 egg whites
Snack: banana, Fiber One bar
Lunch: turkey sandwhich, apple, cheesestick
Snack: fiber one bar, banana
Dinner: chicken salad, protein bar
Water: 20 (8 oz glasses) water
EXERCISE:
Exercising was tough today. So a couple of weeks ago I got kicked in my leg playing soccer. I had a bruise bigger than an orange on my leg. But my leg has been hurting ever since really bad and I couldn’t figure out what it was.
It was hurting especially bad today and I had a feeling I shouldn’t play soccer but I did anyway. I couldn’t even run on it. Its in really bad shape after the game. My poor leg. Already I’m losing the arch in my heel so it hurts to walk anyway and my knee also bothers me. Well I figured out that it’s a shin split. Eeek. Went to the gym but holy cow it was hurting so much, I could only do the treadmill and only for a little bit of time.
· 60 minutes Soccer
· 20 minutes treadmill
· 45 minutes ball workout
WHAT IS GOOD? Well I stuck to it and exercised even though it was incredibly hard with my injured leg. I also drank a lot of water!
WHAT NEEDS IMPROVEMENT?: EVERYTHING! Well at least breakfast.
Dear Diary: What is my problem seriously? Why did I go to Great Harvest this morning? I even thought about telling Adam of my craving because I know he would have encouraged me not to go and I wouldn’t have, so I purposely did NOT tell him. What an evil thing. Sheesh, so I want to get in that wedding dress or not?
I guess I just feel so much against me. Part of me is sick of trying so hard and not seeing much in the way of results. And then I fall into that old pattern of you go off and its hard to get back on. Like I know its my birthday Thursday and we are going to Wendover with his family. I know I’ll have cake and end up not following the diet because its my birthday. That would probably be okay, but one day of cheating and I swear I gain 5 pounds with my luck. So I think a part of me is like screw it. Who cares, may as well not try because even if you do try you won’t see many results. Uggh.
Ok, NO I can’t do this again, I just can’t, this self-defeating behavior and thoughts. I’m done and its what has destroyed my chance for happiness all along. I’m not going to let this pattern repeat. Now is the time. Adam will help me and I can do this. I know I can!
So here is the plan:
I’m on second Diet Pepsi right now. This will so be the last for today. No more Diet Pepsis and lots of water is on the beverage menu for me today. Deal with it.
Next, foodwise: No treats from front desk at all, and no straying from the planned diet. For lunch I will have a turkey sandwhich and an orange. For snack I will have a fiber one bar and a banana. No ifs, ands or buts. Tonight for dinner after soccer I will get chicken breast 6 inch sandwhich from Subway and take the top bun off. No cookies! And no pop either.
And exercise wise here is the plan: Soccer tonight for an hour. If I’m there early I will walk around to get more steps. Then I will be going with Adam to the gym when he has the trainer. Typically we are there for like 2 hours when he has the trainer, sometimes slightly more. I will get even more cardio. I will get lots of steps this way for my program at work (have to make up for last week) and lots of good cardio. Tomorrow I will be starting back on my resistance, weights workout.
In fact, here is plan for tomorrow:
B: 3 egg whites, banana, oatmeal
Snack: cottage cheese, orange
L: turkey sandwhich, banana
Snack: fiber one bar, cheese stick
D: chicken, edamama (veggies)
NO DIET PEPSI AT ALL. PURE WATER! And exercise? AM-weights workout, walk workout. PM: more cardio, ball workout
I WILL BLOODY DO THIS IF IT KILLS ME!
1:36-So doing good so far. Had 16 ounces of water so far. Realized I forgot edamame or any veggies so besides my sandwhich I’m having a cheesestick and an apple. That’s ok. I’m super hungry and at least it is healthy stuff.
2:50 PM: Still going strong, only had one moment of hesitation. Was kind of day dreaming about Diet Pepsi, and as if on cue, a co-worker suddenly opened a can. Thoughts of theft or slight maiming might have ensued, but I held strong to my water conviction as it were.
Have now had 6 cups of water, and about the same amount of bathroom trips! Water can be so bloody annoying, especially when your bladder is barely bigger than the size of a pea. Receptionist at front desk must be convinced I have a bladder infection or problem.
4:23 PM: Oh the human mind is a silly thing. I just walked by the front desk again, as I have been like every 20 minutes after using the potty (thank you again water)………and I looked longingly at the chocolate, saw someone with a soda and I immediately thought aw, how sad that I am deprived. Ha ha, reality check chica! Me of all people has NOT been deprived. I’ve led a really rich life when it comes to food. Oh wasn’t every meal, every day or anything like that. But I have not been deprived by any means. So silly the way our brains work honestly!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Ok so I said I would blog EVERY day,so here goes! I need to realize the consequences of everything you put in your mouth and everything you do. Well already its going better.
Today’s steps so far: 13,120
Yesterday: 3746
LOL! That’s so pathetic. But I am impressed I am doing better! Here is my morning- ode to Bridget Jones style:
7:05 AM: Aw, could just wake up now and have a nice long day……will do it. Look how cute Adam looks. I could let him sleep and go clean like I’ve done many times before. Bloody splendid idea…Will get up here in just a couple moments…just gonna close my eyes for just a couple more minutes.
2 hours later: Oh rats I could’ve had everything done by now….for sure I’m getting up right now…(yawns and pulls covers over head)
11 AM: Oh wow, I feel so refreshed. Nothing could make this day better. (Adams walks in room and kissing ensues)
(Smiles and eats breakfast Adam made: granola, 1% milk, 3 egg whites & salsa, banana)
So yesterday I was up to 352-eeek. But that was in the morning. All day we were cheating for some bizarre reason. We ate an entire box of oreos! (hesitantly steps on scale)…………wow the scale God loves me today. I’m 348. Hmmm. Not sure in what kind of universe that no exercise and eating half a package of oreos helps you lose 4 pounds! (Sounds like the kind of world I really want to live in though)
12:15 PM: Yes, walking to the gym is a great idea!................oh blast its kinda hot. Why are there no bloody sidewalks around here anyway? Not like I should be scared, I’m a fairly big target, so it would be highly unlikely that a car wouldn’t see me…..Why must Adam walk so bloody fast? I think he forgets I’m carrying like 3 people here lol.
Its bad that it has been a few days since we worked out. The slacking has certainly had an effect. Its like mentally I want to be 350 which doesn’t make any sense. I don’t really want to be that weight of course. Am I just scared? Actually I don’t think I’m scared at all. I think I’m just lazy and don’t want to put the work in. That’s exactly what it is actually. That and having no patience. This is the pattern I go through:
1-Work hard & exercise & eat right and lose a little.
2-Keep working hard etc & don’t lose or gain a pound.
3-Try to stick to it but get frustrated. Upset that when I’ve done so good that I haven’t lost a lot at this weight. Throw towel in and gain 5 pounds.
4-Get back on track and lose a pound.
5-Get frustrated again and go off diet completely
This is what I need to do:
Exercise & eat right all the time. Not get frustrated when I lose little or gain. If I stick to diet and keep eating right, I will lose in the long run. I just lose slowly.
I need to just get totally over it and stop crying about it. I didn’t gain it all really quick, and its not going to come off quickly or easily. So just make the most of it!
12:25-1:10:
· 20 minutes Precor machine
· 25 minutes Treadmill: 6 light jogging, 19 minutes power walk
1:10-1:25: I always love the feeling after a workout. I’m so bloody tired lol. On the walk home I felt like dropping to the grass and taking a nap!
Well anyway, after that I watched (finally) the last half of the finale of American Idol. Okay seriously best final ever! It was so very good. And go Kris! I actually knew he’d already won and wasn’t going to watch it, but then I heard about the bikini girl part on the news and figured I must watch it. While I watched I bounced on the ball and had a snack-fiber one bar & cheese stick.
After that I put on my favorite music while I did dishes & laundry, dancing around and taking extra steps etc. Not a bad way to get some additional exercise in!

SUMMARY:
I did really good today actually. I wanted more to snack on late at night, but I wouldn't let me. The gym seriously kicked my ass, but in a good way. In a couple of days I will start back up with weights. I know I can do this. I love days like this.

Ugh, I think I forgot what that word means. We had good intentions at camping to be good and didn’t do that bad. But today its like we threw it all out the window. So every day I’m gonna do the exercise in the AM and PM and then be perfect with diet, blogging about it every day and keeping track of it all in the bodybugg. I need to be held accountable. I need to make this happen. I need to remember all of the reasons why I’m doing this!!!! I want to have babies!!! There was a pic taken of me when I was a baby in a basket in a pink dress at my Grandma’s. Apparently I would take out the toys so I could sit in it. I want to take that same pic with my kids.

S'more Camping???

So we went to the property of Adam’s family past Heber. We got there about noon on Saturday and this was the real kind of camping too. No running water so no toilets etc. Now I’ve roughed it plenty of times, but it has been years and years! I’ve been spoiled with East Canyon Resort camping where you have showers, toilets, the pools and shuffleboard. You are entertained at every moment and don’t have to smell the outhouse. Oh the luxuries we have become accustomed too.
So with a reluctant heart I jumped on the bandwagon. And I actually became excited about it. Just me and Adam! We had never been camping before this. It was fun doing all of the planning etc. Thanks to my poor spending habits, I have tons of camping crap, and it seemed whatever I didn’t have, Adam has.
So I almost laughed as it started raining just as we got there. I had warned Adam of my curse before, we chucked as I reminded him of it. It almost ALWAYS rains when I go camping. But we figured it would subside. Well it didn’t! We were rather ill-prepared for inclement weather. Luckily we had a little bit of warm clothing and some hefty bags so we were set. It took some serious delving into our inner survivor-man kills to get a fire going in the rain.
But it really was fun while it lasted. We almost went home earlier in the day, but we kept thinking the rain would stop. There are 3 trailers owned by his family on this property but one had major mouse-droppings and one we couldn’t get into. We could get into his parents and decided to sleep there instead of the tent due to the rain. Adam was totally creeped out though for fear of spiders lol. I was more afraid of men with axes or like bears or something. Seriously after the four-wheelers stopped it was quiet and so very dark. Because of the clouds it was pitch black.
You know you have seen way too many horror movies when you can’t even walk 2 blocks to the outhouse in the dark without making your fiancée chauffer you along with his hatchet.
Then we couldn’t sleep. The altitude was getting to me, it wouldn’t stop raining, and Adam kept worrying about creepy crawly things. LOL we ended up leaving at 1 AM for home.
It was still so much fun and we’ve been gloriously lazy today.

Bonkorama!!!!

It all went well. Gee I love hosting parties! I so wish I could do that for a living or something. Not throw Bonko parties, but just parties in general. So much for fun than software seriously!
The theme was pink, black, and white, kind of like our wedding colors! I spend way more than I could afford, thankfully everyone pitches in for the prizes though. I found a bunch of bath stuff and put in really cute bags, they loved them.

I way went way overboard on the food surprise surprise. It was so much fun. I made my famous scotcharoos and put those cameo molds I bought on top. But my favorite was the pretzels. Now I’ve done chocolate pretzels for years, but these were the cutest ones I’ve done thus far. I found normal shaped pretzels but that were really fat and then used white, brown, and pink chocolate, dipping, double-dipping and drizzling. It was a blast. And they are darling.

Everyone said I need to get someone to make them for the wedding. Ha. Those stay good for a couple of weeks. I could make them to be honest!

Got Plans?

There is so much coming up lately its exciting. I feel like I run from place to place as of late. Tomorrow is Bonko night. Once a year you have your turn to host, and its my turn. And like all my close friends know, I really love to throw a party. Its been challenging as we are trying to save money, but I wanted to have a theme. I’m all about themes! Really its just pink and black and white, kind of like my wedding colors but the pink is a little brighter. So I made my scotcharoos with pink chocolate cameos I molded on top. I have pink and black candy and dishes to match. I’m such a freak! But It will be fun. Luckily you are given money by everyone for the prizes. I found some really cool prizes and put them in pink and black bags with matching ribbons of course. So I’m actually excited.
But it is work. Last night I seriously did a million things, I exercised, did grocery shopping at 2 places, exercised, played soccer for an hour, called everyone about bonko (give address etc), ran things over to Jens (who is graciously hosting), and dropped Adam’s car over to Heather’s (Adam’s cousin whose hubby is going to fix the car she accidentally backed into). By the time we got home it was 10:30 PM and I still wasn’t quite done. I made the treats while I watched the finale of American Idol. It’s a nice feeling to get a lot of things done. But how do you moms do it??? I don’t even have kids yet and I’m exhausted.
Tonight I’m running to Jen’s to clean for a couple of hours, need to exercise, pick up Adam, and get all our camping stuff ready for this weekend. Thursday will be a blast but Bonko is an all nighter. Then Friday we will be shopping and planning for our campout this weekend. Oh thank heaven it’s a long weekend!
I actually only work 2 days next week as his parents are taking us to Wendover on my birthday.
Oh my seriously so much fun stuff coming up. The weekend after that is my family’s big belated Memorial Day Bash at Milcreek. So much fun. We cook all the meals and hike and play games. It seriously is a blast.
We are trying to save for a house as well and improve my credit by getting me out of debt. Oh why does everything cost so much! One day we will hopefully have it all together.

Does this wedding dress make my butt look big?

So I’ve been slowly getting into more wedding stuff. Been a little bit relaxing, or so I thought. I did plan on meeting with Jen last Saturday to kind of make some headway with centerpieces & invitations. Well that ended up being the unplanned wedding preparation day! So I was about to exercise and I got a call from Adam’s sister Kim who said there was a dress on KSL I should look at. At first I thought she was crazy. Who buys a wedding dress from KSL???? Well lots of people apparently. I completely and utterly fell in love with it and it is now mine and was only $125.
This is such a miracle and I have since thanked God a million times over (and Kimmy). Its just so funny because I’ve been sort of having a hard time doing this without my mother. It just makes me miss her so much, probably even more so in May as its her birthday month, Mother’s day and memorial day and my birthday all in one! Well and trying on wedding dresses didn’t excite me much anyway for weight reasons so I was going to postpone it as much as I possibly could and was trying not to be sad about it. But a while back when I was sad about it, I was looking at my mom’s painting I sometimes talk to (yes I am THAT crazy), and I just felt like everything would be okay and it would be painless and easy. I swear my mother is our guardian angel. She knows what a stress case I can be, and just makes things happen for me sometimes. Kimmy and I tease that we are now sisters anyway, so I swear my mother inspired her to look at that.
The dress is perfect. Its 2 sizes too small, but if I keep losing more (which is the plan), Val (Adam’s mom) can take it in so easily so I can look at it as a goal. Its all lacy and kind of Victorian which is my theme. Not too much lace, but just enough. The sleeves flair out and are sheer. There is beadwork on it and a huge long train. I’m so happy about it, I was on cloud 9 all day.
That same day Jen and I really made some headway about invitations and such as well so I’m so appreciative of her. Then that night we actually bought 2 out of 3 of the flower dresses that match the bridal dress so much with little lacy detail and the adorable pale pink with huge fluffly skirts. Oh man they are just perfectly frilly! I’m just so excited! Its all really happening. I thank God and my mom (as I’m sure she had something to do with it) that I have Val and Kim. My family is so wonderful, but at this time things are complicated. Deb has all her kids, Jen is already doing so much, Laurie is getting a divorce, and it isn’t really my dad’s thing so I’m so grateful. I have no idea how blessed I am I know to have such great future in-laws seriously. Like we want to have a house near them some day and who wants that. So officially I am the luckiest girl in the world and I should just remember that!
Oh and my doctor thinks I have some metabolic thing so I’m waiting for test results. If I do, medications may help me lose a little faster. Wouldn’t that be nice! But if not I just have to be patient. I lose so horribly slow and I can’t get sad about it. I just have to work my tail at it and be ok with it. The results will come eventually. I guess God had to teach me patience somehow!